living with SIBO

Hey guys!

Starting this week I’m going to try out doing lifestyle type posts on Tuesdays and Makeup posts Thursdays. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this post and gain a bit of insight on what it’s been like for me living with Sibo. This post is not exactly been a happy one experience wise, but my hope is that if you are struggling in your life right now that it will encourage you. Sometimes posts like this make me think about the fact that other people struggle with this too, and I’m not alone. That is my hope for those of you who are going through stuff in your life right now, God has been good to me through this, and I hope that me sharing my experiences will give you guys hope. It was good for me to be able to voice my opinions on this for other people to be able to see.

       I was diagnosed with Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) several months before my 14th birthday. It’s been over a year. With SIBO, some days are better than others. As a general rule I’m pretty much always in pain, my body will randomly start rejecting certain foods, I’m always bloated. I struggle through a lot of things that would be easy for a normal, healthy person.

       Most of the people in my life don’t know I’m struggling. I prefer it that way. I hate when people know that I’m struggling with life. I’m one of those people who could be in so much pain that I throw up, then come out of the bathroom and act like nothing happened. Sometimes when I’m having a particularly bad day with a lot of pain I act really sarcastic, and can come off really mean. I don’t mean to be, but when I’m hyper-focused on how I feel I lose a lot of my good filter, and my thoughts start getting filtered by my internal pain.

       One of the thing that I dislike most about having SIBO and interacting with people are the conversations where they realize all the things they enjoy, that I can’t have. I really don’t like it when I tell people I can’t have Milk, and they ask me why, like it was a choice. (Here I would like to give a shout out to all the amazing people in my life who’ve come to my rescue during one of those conversations, I appreciate you guys.)  It always makes me feel kind of inferior when people tell me that they could never live that way, or act like I’m a freak because I live, everyday of my life, with a chronic illness that I can’t control.

       If you enjoyed hearing some of my thoughts on what it has been like living with Sibo, or if you would be interested in hearing more about Sibo diets, information, or anything like that please comment down below. I would be happy to do more posts on my experience with all of that. And, if you enjoy my content please follow my blog to hear more from me.

Until next time, Bye!

(Waves from behind screen!)

sleep? I don’t know about sleep! Its summertime! A foster care update

Hey Guys,

What’s new with you?

         I realize that I’ve been gone from the blog for quite a while, it’s been crazy busy on my end. Thankfully, I think the summer is starting to slow down. I hope to have more time and inspiration to write on this platform. The past month I’ve been at camp after camp, and got to take a trip to North Carolina with my parents to see my grandparents, as they were preparing to move. My weeks have involved new friendships, late night shenanigans, and hanging out with the people who usually make themselves more scarce in my everyday life I really enjoyed everything. It’s been a much needed break from my normal life. In this post I’m going to talk about waiting in the foster system from my point of view, as a introduction for myself back into taking placements, and writing my thoughts out for other people to read for absolutely no apparent reason.

         If you’ve been following my blog you’ll probably already know that my family is part of the foster system. I’ve been extremely blessed to be in a family that has encouraged me to have a tender heart towards others who may not be as well off as I am, who have taught me the about God and the Bible since I was a kid. I know that God has blessed me so much, and I am thankful that I have gotten to have a part in the lives of kids whose situations have not always been as great as mine.

        I can confidently say that as a child whose family hosts foster kids, I don’t have very much say in what kids come into our home, and which ones don’t. I feel so much compassion for the kids in these sad and broken situations, I wish that we could take them  all.

        These parents are broken, the system is broken, and the kids suffer for it. This week we opened back up for new placements. Honestly, my family doesn’t really have room for more than two extra kids, so our foster journey does not seem so crazy as other peoples might from the outside. To me it seems as though we have a small capacity, but that doesn’t keep people from reeling in shock at the news we plan to take in more children. I don’t understand people’s attitudes towards us, and other families who take in foster kids.

         No, it’s not easy doing this. Nothing about it is easy. If it was easy to send a child back where they came from, to turn down placements who need a safe place to go, then there would be a problem. It’s true that not everyone is called to foster, but to say that you would turn down the opportunity to benefit a kid in need if that was what God had called you to do just because you think that it would be hard or uncomfortable is frankly tragic.

         It’s true that not every Foster family and placement are meant to be together, and sometimes the most loving answer for everyone involved is to just say no. Seems cruel, right? Saying no to a call from a sometimes desperate social worker asking for your help as a last resort. But what if God has something better in store elsewhere for that child? What if He has the placement that we could truly help a few days down the line down the line, or a call later? What if you ask for His wisdom, and feel Him tell you that this kid doesn’t belong with you right now? Is that cruel? No. I don’t think it is. Maybe that child would be fine with us. But what about the one that God has waiting? What about another home, or a different family for the kid He just told you not to take in? What opportunities do we waste when we tell God that we know better?

          I’m not trying to say that we say no to every placement just in case it’s ‘not the right one’, or that I think that no kid belongs with us. What I’m saying is that when we try to rush into life, sometimes we have unforeseen consequences. Missing out on the benefits God would have given us, and the kids He seemed to tell us not to take, if we had listened to the better plan He had, even when we couldn’t imagine how He could work it out for His, ours, or the kids good.

          This week I was introduced to my new five year old little brother, after my family had ended up saying no to several other proposed placements. My parents didn’t know what God had in mind, but I know they believed that God would bring us the one who would benefit from being in our home for a while. The kid that God had in mind for us in this season of our lives. I don’t think I could honestly be more happy. No matter how much it hurts during the process, God always makes it worth it in the end.

            So, that’s my thoughts at the moment about saying no to placements, and waiting on God’s timing to bring us the right kid. If you’re also involved in the foster system, I would love to hear your thoughts on all of this. If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment and consider following my blog to hear more from me. I hope to get back in the loop of writing and posting to this platform, and hope to have you see me back here for my next post.

            Until next time, Bye! (Waves from behind screen!)

spring inspired smokey eyes

Hey Guys!

What’s new with you?

       I’m not going to lie, it’s been really quiet at my house, I really miss the little people. I talked to them a little bit yesterday, and that was good… But I’m still sad. The quiet at my house has been good though. I’ve been working on my astronomy projects which I need to get finished this week. That’s honestly been a blessing I guess.

       Anyway, in this post I want to discuss a eyeshadow style I’ve been seeing around the internet a bit lately. The bold pop of  bright eyeshadow focused on the top lid. Allana Davidson has done a couple looks like this, her looks were really my inspiration for this post. I really loved how hers turned out, so I thought I would try some for myself. If you’re interested in seeing who her inspiration was, and how her looks turned out I would recommend watching her videos. The link below is for the orange look she did.

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        Let’s get into this, shall we.

     The first look I did was this green one. Honestly, I absolutely love this one. I used the Tarte Clay Pot in Margarita, and added some clear gloss on top to give it character. Possibly my fave. 

The next look I did was this purple shimmer. For this one I layered no shame, a matte purple from Smashbox with Jelly from Too Faced. It turned out bright and shimmery really liked the color combo here. 

         The last look I did for this post was this glittery pink/red look. For this one I used Fling from Smashbox with the Stila Glitter and Glow in the shade Sunset Cove. This one turned out smokey, intense and glittery. Very in your face. 

          If you enjoy my content be sure to comment on this post and follow my blog to see when I post again! 

Until next time, Bye! 

(Waves from behind screen!) 

May 2019 favorites

Hey guys!

What’s new with you? 

    This week has been pretty crazy, my mom was gone for a couple days, which gave me an excuse to stay with one of my best friend’s. And let me tell you, it was crazy being there with all her younger siblings. But I had a lot of fun! Anyway, without further ado, in this post I wanted to round off the month a little early with some of my favorite products, and moments, from May. 


Lay’s Salt and Pepper Kettle Cooked Chips.

     These are on top of my list firstly because the are the only non makeup item on my list of products, but also because they are what I was eating while working on this post. These are my favorite kind of chip, and therefore get the honor of the top of this list. 

Milani Keep it Full Lip Plumper in Tropical Shine. 

     This lip gloss is just the best, shimmery and shiney with a slight cooling tingle. To me this thick creamy gloss smells slightly of coconut, not minty at all. And, this red-y orange gloss is perfect for this time of year. An all around win-win. 

Too Faced Chocolate Bar 

     This OG palette is rather new to my ranks. That being said, it has quickly become a favorite of mine. I thoroughly enjoy the mix of shades. Browns, and brown complimenting tones work well with my complexion. Plus the packaging is super cute, and the chocolate smell is delicious!

ColourPop Lost and Found

      I’ve really been loving this pastel, sort of baby blue single shadow from ColourPop. It’s such a complex color, a brilliant blue matte, but it is easy to use, and it looks really good on the eyes. It also doesn’t stain very badly. Overall this shade satisfies my cravings for color wonderfully. 

Stila Glitter and Glow in Sunset Cove

      This glitter I did not expect to love this much. Glitter is normally not my thing, or pink either to be honest. But something about this pink-gold duocrome from Stila is heart and eye catching. Whether an addition colorful, or neutral ones. Sunset Cove adds a gorgeous pinkity pop. The flexible flat applicator makes it easy to distribute product from the back of your hand, or straight to your eye. Plus, this color is honestly so beautiful!

As a bonus to my top favorites list for the month I’ve decided to add some of my favorite pictures, to complete the post. 

     It’s me, holding one of our kittens (this one is named Tabby) all snuggled into my hair. What a cute little dude he is!

     This month I went to lunch with my parents and had some delicious strawberry tea at a Mediterranean restaurant. Mmmmm, so good! 

     It’s me again, laughing at myself in my best friend’s sunglasses that she had handed me to look at something while we were walking somewhere. I am totally rocking her mom glasses!

    And finally, does this tomato not look like a heart? I snapped a picture after I was done eating because it seemed so funny to me. I love when random things end up looking like hearts.

     If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to comment, and follow my blog for more content from me. 

Until next time, Bye!

(Waves from behind screen!) 

reunification in foster care

Three girls who have been living with us were reunified with their dad this week, hopefully this is their once and for all. And once again I’m the only kid on this house. It’s hard to give up the very people who you feel make up your whole world. To give up my roommate. My sisters. Fostering is a unique situation. At once so fabulously exciting and gut wrenchingly heartbreaking.   

       Yes, I’m proud of my sisters’ parents. It’s so amazing that their parents love them and worked hard to get them back. But it can be easy to feel like their parents don’t deserve their kids. These kids, gifts of life that have been used and mistreated. I’ve seen the some of the tip of the iceberg effects of childhood abuse and neglect. It’s not pretty.

      The fabulously exciting part is that we have a hope. A trust in the God who fixes broken pieces. Who reunites families torn apart by sin. What more beautiful thing could there be than to watch a broken heart accept that there is a God who loves them and be changed because if it?

       Yes, my heart hurts. I don’t want my sisters to ever feel abandoned or hurt again. But thankfully I’m not the one in charge of protecting them. God takes the broken and makes it beautiful.

       God takes better care of them than I ever could. He always has their best in mind. And for that, I’m so so thankful. I don’t know what will happen to them next. But right now, I think I’m ready.

        Signed, your friendly neighborhood blogger.

the joy and pain of fostering

This morning I was reading a blog talking about fostering from the perspective of a seventeen year old with 8 foster siblings. Wow. I admire her family so so much.

I guess I haven’t said it on my blog so far, but my family fosters. There’s this stigma around fostering I think, in direct relation to the fact that almost every time you hear about fostering in media it’s about how horrible, and abusive fostering families are, or how people’s kids are being wrongly taken by the state. But in the eight months we’ve had kids in our home I’ve seen a far different side of fostering, the hurt in these kids is unimaginable.

My family has had the great pleasure of meeting, and being around several other christian foster families on the journey. It’s amazing how over the past year such a foster forward culture has taken hold in my church. We went from having one foster home in our church to having four in less than a year. It’s incredible to see what God does for those kids through their ‘temporary families’.

It is also heartbreaking. The system is broken, and the people are broken. When you love and love and love on those kids it seems so hard to let them go back to the family you know has hurt them, or give them up to another foster family, because you know the change will be so hard for them. We’ve had one placement for eight months. We were supposed to have them for maybe a few days. It’s been amazing to be able to look from the moment they entered their first foster home to the week they go back to their family and know that my family has been able to be with them through all of that.

How does it feel to know you’re letting go? It hurts. A lot. But I’m at peace in this right now. It’ll be hard to let them go, but I know God’s plan is good for these kids. We need to remember to pray for the kids, and the parents.  For safe homes, and renewed relationships.

I hope this post has given you insight. If you guys are interested I plan to do more posts like this in the future. And if you enjoyed my content don’t hesitate to comment down below and also follow my blog.

Until next time, Bye!   (Waves from behind screen.)

why I love makeup

Hey Guys!!!

Whats new with you?

Life has been slowing down for me recently, and I’m really glad. In this post I want to talk about my thoughts on makeup and beauty, and also give an explanation of why I’m so into it. So here it goes…

    I don’t look at makeup as a way to improve myself. I see my face as a blank canvas, and makeup as the way to express myself on that canvas. I don’t want to cover myself up, I do makeup for the self expression it allows me. The freedom to do what I want with my face. To then be able to take it off when I’m done, not having to store the finished look. There’s a lot about makeup that appeals to me. I don’t do it for the stereotypical reasons of being insecure in my own skin, or wanting to look perfect. I like art. Makeup is an art. For me it’s fun, a way to express myself, and a huge stress reliever. For me I feel more confident in no makeup with a messy bun than I do in full makeup with my hair down. It’s just who I am. But I love it anyway. Some people don’t understand or accept that, putting pressure on me to fit in, to do makeup the “right way”, or not do makeup at all. I want to be able to share my love of makeup with other people. I don’t think that makeup improves your beauty. I think that beauty isn’t about how others perceive you, but about how God sees you. God sees us as beautiful, when we believe that I think it shows. That’s my opinion, it’s okay if we don’t agree, but before I got too far into my blog I wanted to tell you my opinions and feelings, so we can be on the same page.

     I hope you enjoyed this post! If you did feel free to comment, and follow this blog if you like what you see.

 Until next time, Bye!!!

(Waves from behind screen.)

my new blog

What’s up with you? If you’re here I think you know what’s up with me! Guess what? I re-started my blog, this time with the re-vamp of a makeup/lifestyle sort of theme. And I’m pretty exited about it, honestly I’ve been working on future posts for a couple weeks now, and I think ya’ll are going to enjoy the posts I should have coming! So who exactly is journal of a dreamer, justnotmolly or @not_molly_19? Me of course! I’m a curly-haired, dreamer with a love of creating things. I love to read, write, do makeup, paint, and do pencil sketches. I’m homeschooled, and currently a freshmen in High School. I want to be a social worker after college. For now I’m focusing on school and trying out this whole blogging thing. I’m in several sports, my favorite of which is Basketball. As for other things, I think I’ve covered almost everything already. I hope you guys are as exited to see my content as I am to make it.

 So until next time, bye!

 (Waves from behind screen.)

It’s 2020!!

It’s my first post of 2020. I honestly don’t know what to do with the fact that it’s currently 2020. I really don’t know where 2019 has gone, it doesn’t feel like it should be over yet. That being said, I wanted to start this year off with a little blurb about what I’ve been doing over the past few months, and about my plans for 2020. The last new post I wrote was in mid-October. A lot has changed since then. 

We still have the little dude living with us, though he’s six now. It’s been really fun having a little brother for the past six months. He’s super sweet, and loves hugs literally more than any other person I’ve ever met. He was pretty behind at the beginning of this school year, but my mother has been working with him every day to get him up to the level that he needs to be for his age. He’s really been enjoying being homeschooled, and it’s given our family a lot of freedom to schedule visits and calls with his parents around their work schedules, which means they get to talk more, and is a good thing.

 A couple of weeks ago we got a Great Pyrenees puppy, who I named Jack. He’s not the smartest dog you’ve ever seen, and he keeps trying to play fetch with the outside kitties, which isn’t great, but he’s super sweet, and fluffy. Our whole family really loves Jack. He’s not the best guard dog yet, but his puppy energy, and adorable face is enough to turn every heart in favor of him. Most of my friends are now plotting to also get Great Pyrenees puppies, plans which I hate to say, are all pretty much doomed to failure at the moment.

 I started basketball again, the season started for us in mid-November, and we normally don’t have too many teams to play right at the start of the season. We participated in a tournament during the first week of December, we played pretty well together, and ended up getting third place. I’ve really been enjoying the dynamic of the team a lot more this year. I don’t feel like the disliked new girl anymore, and I’ve actually been making friends, which is something I normally really struggle with. 

 I’m still fifteen, and I’m working on getting all my needed driving hours so that I’m ready to get my license when I turn sixteen in March. I’ve really enjoyed learning how to drive, and I’m excited to get my license in March. It’s exciting to know that getting my license will give me the opportunity to actually get a job, something which is kindof hard without a car, living in the middle of nowhere. It’s really just hard to believe that after this semester I’ll be halfway through highschool, with a drivers license, and possibly a job. It all just seems so crazy to me. 

I’ve been working over the past couple of weeks on some new posts that I’m really excited for. I’m ready to get a fresh start on here coming into 2020. I intend to have things better mapped out from here, in a way that will help me manage my time better, and create quality content. 

Thanks for taking the time to read my work! I appreciate the fact that you stuck around to read the whole post. If you’re interested in seeing more from me you should follow my instagram (@not_molly_19) which is where I post my makeup looks, and also let everyone know when a new post is up on here. Anyway, that’s all for this post. Thanks for reading, bye!