random stuff about me

This is a post about me. I know that all my posts are about me in general, but this one is specifically about me, because I’m going to spend this whole post telling you some random facts about my life. I don’t really like talking about myself to most other people, but I’ve seen a couple people do posts like this recently, and I thought it might be fun to show you guys that my life is not just foster care and makeup. So without further ado, here it goes.

My favorite color is red. I don’t feel like this needs a lot of explaining. My favorite color is a bright vibrant orangey red color that I like to describe as electric red. My second favorite color is dark gray. What can I say? Variety is the spice of life. 

I play Basketball, it started as a mandatory school sport in third grade, and I fell in love. Back in elementary school my teammates called me Wrecker. My record time for fouling out of a game is before the end of the first quarter, my parents have never let me forget about it. 

My favorite drinks are black tea and black coffee. Most people, especially kids in High School don’t like unsweetened black coffee, or tea, but in my opinion black coffee and tea is just really good. I actually don’t really care when it comes to details like ‘type of roast’ or ‘where its grown’ I might be weird, but I’m not a coffee snob.

I’ve always loved art, and doing crafty things.  When I was little adults would come to me all the time and ask me to do crafty things for them, usually it wasn’t the kind of crafts that I liked to do, but most of the time I did it anyway. I love to paint and draw, even though I’m not that good at it. I feel like being an artistic kid transitions into being pretty good at doing makeup, which I think is pretty cool. I guess my love of makeup does make sense after all.

I’m not into fashion. At all. I don’t really spend a lot of time on clothes and accessories, I hardly ever wear jewelry that doesn’t serve a purpose, and I’m pretty low maintenance when it comes to what I wear. It’s not a way I like to express myself like it is for some people. I’m not really sure why. 

I think that if a book gets made into a movie, the book is almost always better. I feel like this applies to almost every movie that has been made from a book. Yes I’m strange, no, I don’t really care. Unless you make a movie that follows every scene from the book exactly, and doesn’t leave out any characters, or lines, it’s probably not as good as the book. Unless it was just an awful book to begin with.

My favorite books are the Lord of the Rings, the RL series by Nancy Rue, Beyond the After by CM Healy, and Harry Potter of course. I love the mystery genre the most, and when I was little most of what I read was Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys, though Nancy Drew was always more my jam. I still own almost all the original Nancy Drew books.

I don’t watch a lot of tv, but I love shows like Matlock, Murder she Wrote, and Sherlock. Going back to the fact that I love mysteries, its probably no surprise that I really love murder mystery shows, and true crime podcasts. Like I said, watching tv makes up a small part of my life, and beside the three shows I already mentioned the only other things I really watch are old Looney Tunes, and The Food Network. 

I hope you enjoyed learning more about me, if you did, please follow my blog, and if you want to see more from me you can follow me on instagram @not_molly_19.  Definitely come back on Friday to see the very exciting post I have planned. Until next time, Bye!

tips I have for doing other peoples makeup

Today I got to do my cousins makeup for homecoming. It was amazing, I really enjoy being someone people go to when looking to get their makeup done. In doing makeup on my cousins and friends in the last year, I’ve learned a few things that help me when I’m getting ready to do someone’s makeup. 

  1. Don’t stress it. I find this very hard, but it’s true. I do my best work when I’m relaxed, and enjoying the process. I’m obviously mostly referring to doing makeup for events and things, because I don’t usually find doing a blue smokey eye on my best friend at a sleepover particularly stressful since it’s all in fun. But either way, my best work tends to show up when I’m not spewing worry out of my ears. 
  2. Don’t be afraid to have to take something off, or start over. It happens, you get mascara all over your friends wet concealer, and you instantly regret your life. That wing is curved? Something always goes wrong. Or maybe you thought everything was going great, but they just don’t like it. It’s not a big deal, don’t take it personally. Sometimes what you had in mind wasn’t quite what they wanted, or maybe it just wasn’t your best work. The more you practice the better you’ll be, both at doing makeup, and at understanding what people actually want you to do. 
  3. Pay attention to timing. Make sure everything stays as much on schedule as you can without stressing over it. The last thing you want is to get stuck finishing their makeup in a rush. 
  4. One of your first looks, or a technique you’re not familiar with? Practice on yourself. It’s the best way to get a good feeling of the look you’re doing.
  5. Practice on different eye shapes and skin tones, the more diversity the better your technique. It helps to practice on people with different skin tones to get a good idea of what colors work best on what skin tones, and on different sizes of lid space, because eyeshadow style should vary widely based on lid space and eye shape.

I hope you enjoyed my list of tips that have helped me get better at doing makeup on other people. If you did, please follow my blog, and also follow me on instagram @not_molly_19 to see when my posts go up, and to see other looks from me. Also, comment below with your thoughts and ideas. Thanks for reading, Bye!

when kids have people within the system who show that they care about them

In my year of being a foster sister I have seen both good and bad social workers. I’ve gotten the weird looks when people find out what my family does, and the excited expressions of people who have been impacted by foster care. I’ve heard and seen the stories of parents who’ve gotten their wake up call and turned their lives around for their kids, and the ones who’ve tried to play the system, and hurt their kids even more in the process. 

We’ve been open for a month to take new placements, since my little bonus brother went to a kinship placement.  He was excited to go back to “his beautiful city”. We got a call from his social worker, after five weeks of him being in kinship that it wasn’t working out, and he asked if we were interested in taking him again. We definitely were. 

So he’s started his first week of homeschool, and has been enjoying being back in church, seeing his friends, and getting to be with my family again. He was shy when he first came back, we hadn’t gotten to talk to him at all while he was in kinship, but his first night back he exclaimed how happy he was to be here with us. It was a sweet moment for my family.

I have to say, it’s nice to see how things work out when Social Workers are invested in the well being of the kids, and do their best to make sure the kids are with a happy family being taken care of in the best way possible. It’s been a beautiful thing to see the reactions of the people in our lives seeing my bonus brother back with us, they’ve been amazingly sweet and supportive. 

If you enjoyed this post please leave a comment, you can also follow my blog, to let me know that you’re here enjoying my work, but if you really want to know when I post, and see more makeup related content you should follow me on instagram @not_molly_19. Anyway, since I don’t really think there’s anything else for me to talk about, I hope to see you next time. Bye! (Waves awkwardly to you from my side of the computer because I’m weird.)

favorite lipsticks ever???

         It’s no secret to anyone that has ever had a chance to poke around my makeup collection that I have way too many lipsticks. I have tried many different formulas and styles, but over the course of the past six months there has been one formula that has acted to end my love for all other formulas.

         What is that magical lipstick you ask? The Anastasia Matte Lipstick. A simple matte bullet lipstick that is all at once so boringly ordinary to look at, but also so fabulous in practice that I can’t help but share my love for the stuff.

          Though ridiculously expensive when purchased at Ulta or Sephora I buy the stuff at TJ Maxx or Marshalls when I can find a color that suits my fancy, or on the Anastasia website whenever they’re having a good sale. I can imagine that this lipstick won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it does have a fun shade range with everything from neutrals to dusty teals. I have a slightly abnormal taste when it comes to lipsticks I think, and I like a good bullet lip with a soft looking matte finish.   

             I don’t usually prefer a liquid lip on a normal basis, and I find the Anastasia lipsticks to be a beautiful hybrid between your traditional cream lipstick, and a matte liquid lip. ABH lipsticks have a decent amount of staying power, but don’t dry out my lips, or emphasize texture.

              The ABH formula wasn’t anywhere near new when I tried it out for the first time, but from the first swipe of bright pink, I knew I was in love. This picture has the lipstick swatches in order of when I picked them out/purchased them.

                So, what’s the point of me stressing to you how much I truly love this lipstick? Well, the point of this space is for me to be able to share my thoughts about things with you. I don’t want to make you run out and buy all available shades of this lipstick because it’s the best thing since stick butter, but I wanted to tell you about how good they are, so that the next time you think to yourself “I think a matte bullet lipstick would add a lot to my collection” you’ll know that this formula is my favorite, the pros and cons of it, and you’ll know where to look if you want to buy it on sale. I don’t want to be pushing products down your throat, making you feel like you need anything you didn’t think you wanted before you read this post.

             If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate it if you would follow my blog, and if you want to know when I post, and see other content from me, follow my instagram, not_molly_19. If you have anything that you would like to see from me, please let me know, suggestions are always welcome. 

Thank you so much for reading, and until next time. Bye!

(Waves from behind the screen!)

a rant, because my life isn’t going the way I think it should.


This past week has been crazy. I kind of feel like everything has been happening whirlwind style, and I’m really struggling to keep up with it all. We’ve been open for new placements for a full week now. I anticipated getting a new kid within the first couple of days, but all the calls that we’ve gotten so far have been seven plus hours away from us, and two out of three have been for respite care. I also started Violin lessons, which I’ve literally been looking forward to for years at this point. Two of the orphaned kittens that I had been bottle feeding died last week, which was really disheartening.

 At the beginning of this past week I was feeling in fantastic control of everything, I thought I was doing so well, and then everything went wrong. I do feel lost. My emotions are in a hectic state, the uncertainty of everything has really gotten to me over the past few days. I’m a perfectionist, and I hate to feel out of control. But that’s how I feel. I feel like I should be able to let everything out, write it all down and feel better, but every time I sit down at my laptop and start to type I’m at a loss for words. The things that come out of my brain are gibberish, and somehow it only makes me feel worse. 

So what’s my point in all of this? Not only do I want to make sense of the way I feel about life in general, but I want to let other people in. I don’t want to internalize how I feel, and for me the best way to let it out is to write it out here and turn it into a post. I want to help other people who feel the way that I do, to know that it’s not only okay to feel like life is out of your control, but it’s also okay to share those feelings with other people. I’m not saying any of this to say woah is me, to complain, or to make you pity me. I’m not even saying it to say that I wish I wasn’t doing any of those things that have contributed to me feeling out of control. I love this stuff.

 I guess my point is that sometimes life isn’t perfect, sometimes we’re not made up of the kinds of things we’d like to show off to the world around us. Doubts, fears, uncertainties, confusion. Those things don’t feel fun, but if we open our eyes and look around those things, the joy that those things bring us when we stick with them, is worth the struggle. 

My original point in sitting down here was to chat about our current foster situation. Well, we’re still waiting for a new placement, the calls are still coming, the decisions that my parents are making are still undeniably tough for them, but I know that we’ll get a call for a placement that will fit into our house, whose life will be benefited by our family, and our lives by them. And I know that moment will make all the doubts, and the waiting, worth it. We opened for new placements last Tuesday, and haven’t gotten any calls in the last five days. It stresses me out a bit, it’s outside of every other experience I’ve had with the foster system before, but I guess it’s good that they aren’t as desperate for foster homes right now as the have been for the past year. The right call will come in the right timing, and until then I am ready to wait I guess.

 Right now, the stuff that I’m saying seems a little crazy, even to me. But I trust that everything will be worked out in the right timing. For me, and for you. I don’t know what’s going on with you as you’re reading this. But I believe that God has a purpose for you, even if it’s not clear yet. And we just have to wait, it’s up to us to do what we know is right, and to trust that the rest will be taken care of in the right timing.

I hope you enjoyed this little brain dump of mine. If you did, please feel free to comment any thoughts, or suggestions for other things that you would like to see me talk about in the realm of makeup or lifestyle. And also follow my blog if you like what you see. If you’re looking for more from me, follow my instagram @not_molly_19. Thanks for reading, and until next time, Bye! 

(Waves from behind screen.)

more thoughts about foster-care

            Life is pain, highness, anyone who says differently is selling something. Sound familiar? The Princess Bride was the movie of my early life. But some of the best quotes from the movie are the ones that ring most true. Life is pain. Not everything in life is nice, and often, the things with the most return are the hardest and most painful. 

             Being the biological daughter of foster parents, on top of being an only child, on top of being picked on for being a weirdo homeschooler. It sometimes makes me feel like an outsider. But the payout? An understanding that real life doesn’t always mean neat and tidy. A good relationship with my foster siblings is worth the craziness to me. I know that even if my bonus siblings forget about me, I won’t forget about them. I know that these kids have exposure to God, exposure they might have missed otherwise. It makes all the pain worth it. Not always easier, but worth it. 

                My thought is just that, this is not easy, I don’t find it fun to build deep relationships, call people my siblings, then send them hours away from me back to their family, their real family. It hurts, a lot. But at the same time, to hopefully be able to help these kids, their parents, and even their extended family, feels good.

                I just don’t understand people who say that they could never do this, because it would be too hard to send the kids back. We weren’t made mutants. It’s not easier for us, no less painful. But we know that it’s right, the way we want foster placements to turn out, reunified, back with the people who have done the work to right the wrongs they’ve put their kids through, and are ready to be the good parents that their children need them to be.

                If you’ve enjoyed this post, feel free to comment and follow my blog. I post lifestyle content on Monday, and Makeup related content on Thursdays. Following this blog means that you’ll be first in line to hear my thoughts, and updates on my family’s foster journey. And if you’re dying to hear from me in the mean time, feel free to leave a comment, and check out my instagram @not_molly_19

Until next time, Bye! (Waves from behind screen!)

tarte mascara : makeup showdown

In this post I want to explore the realm of mascara. Though I rarely wear mascara these days (I’ve been blessed with naturally long, dark, curly eyelashes.) I have had the opportunity to try a fair few Tarte mascara options, and here is what I think. Today I’m going to be talking about the pros and cons of four mascaras, and sharing my thoughts on each formula. (With pictures at the end of the post to show direct comparisons.)

      First, let’s talk about Maneater. This mascara from Tarte has been a long term love of mine. This mascara comes with 9ml of product, or .3 fl. oz. This particular mascara comes in a metallic gold tube with purple cheetah print, which means it really stands out packaging wise against the rest. The Maneater wand is cylindrical, with short silicone bristles. The Mascara has an absolutely stunning effect on the lashes, especially nice in video or photography. It makes the lashes look long, without being clumpy, and is quite easy to layer on itself. A con of this mascara would be the slight flaking that begins after several hours of wear, however I have not found it to be smudge prone, and the flaking is generally minimal.

       Next let’s move into Gifted, another Tarte Mascara which is advertised as a “smart mascara”. This Mascara is truly incredible, staying put on my lashes for basically forever, with no flaking, or smudging on my lashes, even after crying. The Gifted mascara comes with 7ml or .24 fl. oz., .06 fl. oz. less than Maneater, for the same price. This do everything formula is packaged in a sturdy bamboo tube, and the wand is a medium length natural bristle brush. The effect of this mascara is shockingly jet black and slightly more natural than it’s Maneater counterpart upon first application, creating a less intense effect than other mascaras that I have used from the first coat. The second coat however delivers more shock, and a lot more drama to the lashes. The first coat delivers a the affect of a soft enhanced natural version of your lash, but if you layer it up, this formula can give you quite the bang for your buck.

        Third, let’s talk about the all time Tarte classic. The Light’s Camera Lashes Mascara, the 4 in 1 holy grail for many mascara wearers. This purple tube is not just about aesthetics though, this formula performs on your lashes. I believe the full size of this mascara comes with 9ml or .3 fl. oz. of product. It has a cone shaped wand with natural bristles. Lights, Camera, Lashes delivers drama from the first swipe over your lashes, but if you crave more it layers over itself quite well to provide even more drama. It is nice and black, but more of a cool toned black then that of the Gifted mascara, more like the color of Maneater. This formula also lasts smudge and flake free on my lashes, which is a definite plus in my book.

          Last, lets talk about the new kid on the block of my Mascara collection. The Lights, Camera, Flashes Mascara. This Tarte Mascara has been out for years, but definitely flies under the radar. I picked it up during a sale on their website at the beginning of June, and saved it until now. The flashy gold packaging gives this mascara the look of being a limited edition sister of the Lights, Camera, Lashes original. But don’t let the name fool you, there are some key differences between the two mascaras. Lights, Camera, Flashes, has a larger, slightly curved wand, with medium length silicone bristles. (Usually my preference.) It coats each individual lash well, and gives a less clumpy effect to the lashes, and I think makes them look longer, not as voluminous. This formula also layers well over itself, and is not difficult to remove. (None of these mascaras are, I use the Garnier Micellar Water to remove my mascara.)

           Let’s recap, shall we? Tarte honestly has some truly great mascaras. These are all of them that I have tried so far, however I have had good enough luck that I would like to try their other formulas in the future. Overall, I think that whatever formula you choose by whatever brand you buy from should always be about your desired effect. I love the effect of the Lights, Camera, Flashes, and Gifted the most right now, they have the most versatility in my opinion, easy to leave more natural of to build very dramatic, I also find them non-flaking, and non-smudging. All things I really enjoy, and look for in a mascara. If you want to try a Tarte mascara I would recommend their minis, at almost exactly half the price, they contain half the product, and are a much more manageable size. As someone who formerly wore the same mascara every day one of their minis lasted me almost exactly three months, which is the point you should probably start thinking about getting a new mascara.

               This is a color comparison to try and show the undertone differences of the mascaras, I’m not sure if really shows up on the picture, but it was a fairly stark contrast in person. 

              I put one mascara on each eye for these pictures to help get a side by side visual of the different effects, and to help establish the pros and cons of each formula while I was comparing them.

              I hope you guys enjoyed this post. Thank you for your support of this blog, and if you like what you see feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section, and follow my blog to see more content from me. I also have an Instagram now, you can find me @not_molly_19.

So until next time, Bye! (Waves from behind screen!)

it’s been one of those days…

          Today has been one of those terrible horrible no good very bad days. It started this morning when I woke up. What was the first thing I felt? Sick. Just sick. To top things off my very second act of the day after getting out of bed was to step in cat vomit. Sounds fun, right? No. It wasn’t fun. And to top the day off, with all it’s mentioned and unmentioned horrors, tonight at eleven twenty when I finally had my post done and edited I lost internet connection, which meant it couldn’t save my work, and when I rebooted my phone the entire edited post containing about a week of solid planning and thought, and several hours of writing and editing was gone, right out from under my fingertips. So here I am ten till midnight, working to fulfill a basic commitment to all five of you guys who read my posts, and what am I supposed to say now?

              The only thing I can think of to tell you is that it’s okay to have off days, or off weeks. It’s okay to feel bad and want to hide in a hole, to feel frustrated when your whole day is headed south, and not only is nothing going right, but everything is going wrong. I don’t want to be writing for your enjoyment right now, feeling at a loss for what to say. I appreciate the fact that I have at least five people who care enough about what I have to say to show up week after week to read about my thought. I hope you don’t feel disappointed by this post. I’m really sorry to you guys that I took an unplanned hiatus last week and didn’t bother to mention it beforehand. It honestly just has been that kind of week basically since last Monday.

                 If you’re feeling the same way I have today I hope you feel encouraged by my discouraged ramble. I’m sorry this post has been short, but like I said, the appropriately sized post I had made was eaten by my lack of internet mere moments before I was going to post it.  And considering the fact that it’s already Tuesday (It’s 12:19 am right now.), and I have things to do in a few hours, I don’t have the mental capacity to do much better of a job than this right at this moment.

                 I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you did please consider checking out my other posts if you’re curious to see my opinions on other lifestyle and makeup things. And if you enjoy my content style you should always feel free to follow my blog to see other full length work from me. If you’re looking for some other ways to connect with me I have instagram now too, you can find me @not_molly_19. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this post. Until next time, Bye! (Waves from behind screen!)

Rachhloves Pixi Layers palette review

Hey Guys!

What’s new with you?

         Today I’m going to be doing a buy or bye inspired by Rachhloves in honor of her highlight collab. When Rachh (Rachhloves on YouTube) made her palette announcement video I was soooooo excited. She was the first beauty channel I ever started watching, and if it wasn’t for her I would probably have no interest in makeup now. And if there’s anything that Rachh is obsessive about, it would be that strong glow. When I first started watching Rachh she made a lot of her Buy or Bye videos, where she rated different aspects of a product on an emoji scale from one to five, then rated the overall product. They are honestly some of my favorite videos that she’s done, so I thought it would be fitting to review her palette using Buy or Bye.

           The emoji I want to use is the shooting star emoji, because I feel like stars, glow, highlight, glowiness… You get the point.

                            🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠

            So first I’m going to start with my favorite parts of the palette, the five star glow, like wearing an all white and neon outfit to go black light roller skating. The glow that instantly makes you that much cooler. For this I definitely have to start with the packaging. The packaging is the first thing you see, your first impression, and on this palette it’s a sturdy pink and green cardboard that it cute, summery, and fun.

I also really love the whole layers theme that she put onto this palette with the idea that you should be able to change and adjust your glow for however you’re feeling.

Another five star element in my opinion is the mirror. It’s a nice size, and good quality. I also really enjoy the selection of layering shades, they represent a nice gradient of shades, and the purple shade adds something interesting to what could otherwise be just another boring highlight palette. And to wrap up the five star category, is the formula. The formula of these highlights is buttery smooth, the shades aren’t glittery, and are easy to wear sheered out, or built up.

                🌠🌠🌠/🌠🌠🌠🌠

             This next category is going to be the more three or four star elements of this palette. These would be more like a glow in the dark t-shirt. It’s fun, but not quite as exciting as black light and neon. As far as I can tell I only have one submission for this category, and that would be the base shades. While I love the champagne and orange gold hues, the truth is that even clutch is too dark for my whiter than white I-don’t-tan tragic paleness, and leaves a bit of a grey cast if I try to layer it up. It’s not too bad, or really a problem for anyone else, which is why I’m putting it here, but it’s a slight issue for me, so I added it regardless.

               In this section I’m going to add swatches of all of the shades so you can see what the shades look like before I give you my final verdict.

🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠

             My conclusion about this palette? I love it. I think it performs well, it has an interesting variety of colors, it’s smooth and pigmented. I’ve been using this palette almost every time I do my makeup since I bought it. So my final ranking would be have to be 5/5, would recommend to a friend. 

              If you’ve enjoyed this post, or have tried this palette, please leave your thought in the comments. And, if you enjoy content from me please consider following my blog to see more content from me. 

So until next time, Bye! 

(Waves from behind screen!) 

living with SIBO

Hey guys!

Starting this week I’m going to try out doing lifestyle type posts on Tuesdays and Makeup posts Thursdays. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this post and gain a bit of insight on what it’s been like for me living with Sibo. This post is not exactly been a happy one experience wise, but my hope is that if you are struggling in your life right now that it will encourage you. Sometimes posts like this make me think about the fact that other people struggle with this too, and I’m not alone. That is my hope for those of you who are going through stuff in your life right now, God has been good to me through this, and I hope that me sharing my experiences will give you guys hope. It was good for me to be able to voice my opinions on this for other people to be able to see.

       I was diagnosed with Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) several months before my 14th birthday. It’s been over a year. With SIBO, some days are better than others. As a general rule I’m pretty much always in pain, my body will randomly start rejecting certain foods, I’m always bloated. I struggle through a lot of things that would be easy for a normal, healthy person.

       Most of the people in my life don’t know I’m struggling. I prefer it that way. I hate when people know that I’m struggling with life. I’m one of those people who could be in so much pain that I throw up, then come out of the bathroom and act like nothing happened. Sometimes when I’m having a particularly bad day with a lot of pain I act really sarcastic, and can come off really mean. I don’t mean to be, but when I’m hyper-focused on how I feel I lose a lot of my good filter, and my thoughts start getting filtered by my internal pain.

       One of the thing that I dislike most about having SIBO and interacting with people are the conversations where they realize all the things they enjoy, that I can’t have. I really don’t like it when I tell people I can’t have Milk, and they ask me why, like it was a choice. (Here I would like to give a shout out to all the amazing people in my life who’ve come to my rescue during one of those conversations, I appreciate you guys.)  It always makes me feel kind of inferior when people tell me that they could never live that way, or act like I’m a freak because I live, everyday of my life, with a chronic illness that I can’t control.

       If you enjoyed hearing some of my thoughts on what it has been like living with Sibo, or if you would be interested in hearing more about Sibo diets, information, or anything like that please comment down below. I would be happy to do more posts on my experience with all of that. And, if you enjoy my content please follow my blog to hear more from me.

Until next time, Bye!

(Waves from behind screen!)